1600s: most witch-hunts ended in this century. no witches were burned in North America; they were hanged or in one case pressed to death
1700s: the American Revolution. Marie Antoinette. the French Revolution. the crazy King George. most pirate movies
1800-1830: Jane Austen! Pride and Prejudice! those dresses where the waist is right under one’s boobs and men have a crapton of facial hair inside high collars
1830-1900: Victorian. Les Miserables is at the beginning, the Civil War is in the middle, and Dracula is at the end
1900-1920: Edwardian. Titanic, World War I, the Samantha books from American Girl, Art Nouveau
1920s: Great Gatsby. Jazz Age. Flappers and all that. most people get this right but IT IS NOT VICTORIAN. STUFF FROM THIS ERA IS NOT VICTORIAN. DO NOT CALL IT VICTORIAN OR LIST IT ON EBAY AS VICTORIAN. THAT HAPPENS SURPRISINGLY OFTEN GIVEN HOW STAGGERING THE VISUAL DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ERAS IS. also not 100 years ago yet, glamour.com “100 years of X” videos. you’re lazy, glamour.com. you’re lazy and I demand my late Edwardian styles
I just saw people referencing witch burning and Marie Antoinette on a post about something happening in 1878. 1878. when there were like trains and flush toilets and early plastic and stuff. if you guys learn nothing else about history, you should at least have vague mental images for each era
“Les Miserables is at the beginning, the Civil War is in the middle, and Dracula is at the end” sounds like the longest weirdest worst movie I’d pay to see in theatres five times.
it’s been 3 months, so i’m legally allowed to sharemy first officially published storyfor free. previously published in Massacre Magazine, under the Gorey Skelton pen name
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I’m… shaken. Disturbed? Holy shit.
That is
Holy shit
Read it
my one real goal as a writer is to create content people regret reading
JFC WHAT IS GOING ON IN YOUR MAGENTA GOURD-BRAIN
I have passive aggressive tendencies related to childhood neglect
That was gorgeous. I have no other way to describe it other than surreal, it made me feel like I was floating. Gaud is a meme but their writing is fantastic.
excuse me i’m a damn *shitpost*
honestly your entire personality is *shitpost* but like kind of deep sometimes
dumbass by choice, philosopher by inclination
This is, in an odd way, strangely beautiful
And yet, at the same time, deeply disturbing
It is a very rich story, full of amazing descriptions and detail
Full of depth
IS THAT A FUCKING PUN
I’m sorry, i had to make this my wallpaper, so i guess here’s the wallpaper versions no one wanted or needed, i made this at 3 am, are you proud
If you’re not willing to snort my ashes then what kind of friend are you
you are incredibly valid
I’m goin to have my ashes mixed in with glitter confetti cannons that will be at my funeral so when my funeral song(thnks fr th mmrs by fall out boy) hits its chorus I can be blasted all over my mourners.
inconveniencing people even from the grave
At my funeral everyone else gets cremated.
This is honestly my favorite single statement in the English language and I’m willing to bet I’d love it just as much in any translated form
My best friend wants to have her ashes sprinkled on top of risotto & wants her will to state that whoever eats her ashes can have her estate.
You are so lucky to have this person as a friend
gonna have my body frozen with liquid nitrogen then turned into a slushie
Incredible
At my funeral, They Won’t Be Able To Find The Body 🙂
i gave my sister $100 for her bday, but i gave it to her in $1 bills that i folded into origami. so that’s how she pays for delivery food & now the pizza girl thinks she’s a stripper
You’re really good at origami holy sh
i learned it specifically to make these for this exact situation
Aren’t you the same bitch that gave your sister $100 dollars in nickels?
There was a guy at my school, Christian, who collected bananas. Every day in the lunchroom, he’d take as many as he could get. He never ate them. He kept them in a bunch of brown paper bags until he had roughly thirty bananas (this took a few days). He would then leave them somewhere in the school – usually on a teacher’s desk or outside the office. Occasionally on people’s doorsteps.
The lunch lady was forbidden from giving Christian bananas. He always got them anyway. If they wouldn’t sell him one, he would steal them and leave the money on the counter. He wasn’t technically breaking any rules so he never got in trouble but the teachers were furious.
He dressed in a banana suit for Halloween.
I don’t know what became of Christian but when I see bananas, I think of him.
when i was in 8th grade, every single day i would steal spoons from the cafeteria. i’d take like 8 spoons a day and by the end of the school year i had two backpacks full of spoons in my closet. on the last day of school i came to school with all my spoons and threw them everywhere i went, and when the final bell rang i emptied the backpacks down into the main stairwell as everyone ran out. a friend of mine who still goes to this school says they still find spoons scattered around to this day.
middle school is a lawless land where both angels and hellspawn fear to tread
i would always decorate sporks. my friend eli recently told me someone found a glittery pink spork in the shop room. i took shop in 5th grade. im in highschool. MY LEGACY LIVES ON.
ExCUSE ME it is a SOLID LIQUID and should be consumed as a combination of drinking and biting known as licking. Thank you very much.
discuss
what madness have you brought down on us
Wait what if you slurp your ice cream?
I use my lips to eat ice cream. It’s like the motion of the “QUE-” in the word ‘QUESTIONS’ in ‘Why You Asking All Them Questions’, but in reverse. It’s like using my lips as a pair of little outside-tongues.
one of my friends once deep-throated her ice cream cone
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