warning:you’re going to die of alcohol poisoning five episodes in. but what a glorious death it would be!
so, drink every time when:
– somebody comments on mei changsu’s frail body and fragile heatlh; – somebody drapes mcs in a cloak or blanket (double shot if it’s an enemy); – somebody tucks mcs into bed; – mcs coughs up blood in a suspiciously plot-appropriate moment; – mcs visits his fallen enemies to gloat; – MCS BLATANTLY LIES TO HIS LOVED ONES; – meng zhi says ‘i don’t understand, explain this to me’; – jingrui looks devastated and confused; – yujin saunters through Tense Intrigue, oblivious and happy; – jingyan looks very sad; – jingyan almost figures mcs’ true identity, but not quite; – jingyan remembers xiao-shu and is sad; – crown prince behaves like a tool; – prince yu condescends to banruo; – prince yu and crown prince squabble in front of the throne, demonstrating while exactly the emperor is always throwing paperweights; – consort jing does something nice and humble but it’s actually a part of a complicated plan; – the emperor throws a tantrum (or a cup); – the emperor utters a creepy little ‘gotcha’ laughter; – consort yue manipulates the emperor in some very obvious way; – somebody’s very polite and reverent to their mother; – SURPRISE FLYING NINJAS; – li gang and zhen ping look at each other in despair like the world’s most overwhelmed, harried married couple; – physician yan is very cranky; – nihuang does something badass and military; – mu qing does something completely inappropriate but is too adorable for anybody to get offended; – lin chen harrasses fei liu; – fei liu flies to the roof; – mei changsu is a terrible role model for fei liu; – lin chen is gleefully dickish to mcs, and mcs lets him have it right back; – xia jiang realizes he’s been outsmarted; – YOU CAN’T TELL XIA CHUN AND XIA QIU APART (seriously, tell me it wasn’t just me); – princess liyang is very scary; – lie zhanying looks like he’s not paid enough for this shit (he’s not paid enough for this shit); – a really questionable cgi battle flashback is played; – BODYGUARDS FOR EVERYBODY.
Looks like a cinnamon roll, is a cinnamon roll: Yujin, Jingrui, Muqin
Looks like a cinnamon roll but could actually kill you: MCS, Nihuang, Fei Liu, Consort Jing, Gong Yu
Looks like they could kill you but is actually a cinnamon roll: Jingyan, Meng Zhi
Looks like they could kill you, is actually going to kill you: Xia Dong, Ban Ruo
Sinnamon roll: Lin Chen
2016 James Potter sends home pictures of the rarest pepes and convinces his fam that they’re drawings of a new species they found in the Forbidden Forest